Someone you care about is sitting with a heavy worry about their work. A shot that won't come together, a review that went badly, a project they cannot seem to crack.

A fellow artist, a friend, maybe someone on your team. You want to help, so you reach for something kind to say, or you offer to pull them out for a drink or a night out to get their mind off it.

While the intention is good, there is a thin line between being attentive and being meddlesome, and it is easy to land on the wrong side of it with the best intentions.

When people watch someone struggle, they usually go one of two ways. Some try to cheer the person up. Others say nothing and give them space. There is no perfect response. But the cheering-up often turns into meddling, while the quiet, hands-off approach is closer to real attentiveness.

Someone deep in a worry usually needs time to sit with it, on their own. They are not in the mood to be told what to do or coaxed into feeling better. Having to manage your kindness becomes one more thing on their plate. It can end up being more trouble than help.

Picture yourself in their place, carrying something heavy. You would probably want to be left alone for a while too, just until you had the chance to settle.